My 8 Favorite and Least Favorite Comedians on The Scene

Lists are useless let’s face it, but as promised on social; here are my 8 favorite and least favorite comics getting up on the scene, in no particular order, because let’s face it lists are pointless and suck (you can tell from that sentence I’ve never been on one).  Instead of a list, look at this as a guide (that I’m currently writing to remind myself) of my 8 favorite and least favorite comics in the community and how to work best with them.

• The Sprinter – The Sprinter must get to their 2-5 spots tonight and must go on RIGHT at 9:10, make sure to light them on time. The Sprinter’s approach is do as much as possible.  The Sprinter did 30 mics a week for the first year or two of their careers and was passed everywhere by year 3.  You feel like the tortoise and they’re the Hare.  A hare that could only be slowed down by an insensitive tweet.

• The Loudmouth – The LoudMouth wants to hear all the gossip and is fun to talk to and talk shit with. He will use his skills to climb somewhere into the middle of the community. What you don’t know is that nothing you’re telling The LoudMouth is secret, he is calling up all the people yall both just had a laugh about as soon as he gets home.  This will put a long term handicap on relationships with people you don’t even think negatively of, but may have been temporarily fun to joke on amongst a perceived friend.  Shoot, now because you joked around with this dude, Janet will forever know that you think she only got a “hint o’ booty.” Don’t fall into the Loud Mouth’s Shit Talkin’ traps!

• The Braggart – This person is doing it big! All over television, doing all the spots in NY and flying out of town often to do bigger ones.  One common misconception is that they do this for money.  They don’t.  They make money doing this, but it’s strictly for spite, and I’ve come to respect that.  They’ve finally overcome their adversity and wants everyone to know they’ve made it, especially their doubters.  In the beginning stages of my career I disliked this comic.  Now The Braggart is one of my biggest motivators and favorite acquaintances.  If you can figure out a way to get The Braggart’s opinion of you to be half as good as their opinion on themselves, you will 100% make it in this business.

• The Babysitter – This person can be a friend or a frenemy. The Babysitter hangs around someone they feel comfortable with, expecting to acquire their skills and rewards through osmosis, just for being there for x amount of time.  You will throw them a bone here and there, let them open for you or book them on your show because they’re a friendly person who spends a lot of time around you.  It’s cool if your friends, but can get creepy if you’re not.

• The Loner – Quiet, keeps to himself. Everyone knows him in passing but nobody really consistently hangs out with him.  But here and there he’ll make and put out something dope.  I personally love doing shows and running into the Loner, because interactions with them are never fake.  This is the rare comic that is usually more talented than they are successful and also always seems to be more genuine about their art because they aren’t tangled in the social politics aspect of the grind.

• The Haggler – Everything with The Haggler is give and take, they don’t like to feel certain situations out. The only problem is that The Haggler always values themselves and what their comedy brings too high which makes a lot of their requests unreasonable.  For instance they may feel entitled to opening for you at a 200 person comedy club because they let you work out their set in front of 5 people at a bar.  The Haggler, thankfully is usually pretty harmless long term as they’ll always find opportunity in being nice to you and your friend.

• The Veteran – He’s been up and down between the low and mid levels of comedy for decades and knows himself to be The Veteran, so he’s comfortable being nice and respectful to newer comics and giving his advice when asked. He’s like that alcoholic divorced uncle you had that gives you all the most helpful tips he learned the hard way.  You should respect him as such.  He only can become a burden once you hit your stride and start outpacing him before he thinks you deserve it.  If that happens, whatever you do, don’t let him drag you back into his open mic foxhole

• The Angel – In and out of your life since the start of your career because they’re all over the place working hard, producing good content and being nice and genuine to everyone they meet in the process.  Everytime you see them, it brings your energy up too and are always fun to hang with after a show.  The Angel will even still help you and answer back if you need them, even if being super busy writing for their network tv show or their independent projects.  The biggest problem with The Angel is that for some reason he always goes too soon.  It’s devastating, you feel like you lost one of your own (which is a small few), and you look around social media and see that The Angel had this effect on lots of people in the community.  Now use this as motivation to better yourself and be more like The Angel both with your work ethic and how you treat people

*illustrations by the talented Alexander Ryu